Before I go on I would like to clarify that I don’t speak for Yoni Ki Baat, its cast, or its organizers. However, I read your post and am sorry to say, I think you before your post maybe you should have considered reaching out to the cast of Yoni Ki Baat and sticking around for the Q&A session- for either one of the 2 years it has been in place. I question if you even actually attended the show, because a Pakistani piece went first both years in a row, I know this because I was the performer.

I have been involved in the Seattle version for 2 years and the very first year my first piece addressed how in Urdu, because I am Pakistani as well, there is no word for “down there.” Yoni is not a word that I necessarily identified with but in reality, it’s kind of sad that in Urdu, a language of formality and respect, all the words for vagina mean your a bad driver, a bad sports player, or not a real man. And in the second year I know I also discussed this in the Q&A. I to do this day, don’t really identify with “Yoni.” That doesn’t mean that I don’t support the cause and enjoy the fact that it is a safe space for women.

Perhaps you forget the need for Yoni Ki Baat; by her own admission Eve Ensler even acknowledges that the Vagina Monologues should grow and develop organically because there was a lack of diversity and to reflect the changing voices of women’s needs in different societies.

In terms of the Lahore version, I also researched this and perhaps you also forget that to attend a screening like this not all women necessarily have equal access. For you to even attend a forum like this in Lahore is a privilege that can be enjoyed by the relative physical safety of upper class women. Yoni Ki Baat in Seattle is a $5 donation, and if you don’t want to donate that’s ok- you can just come in for free and without any harm to your personal safety.

I think sometimes in all of our criticisms with what is wrong in this world we are quick to judge anyone who makes any effort to rectify it. Is Yoni Ki Baat perfect? No, but if you have an issue with it why don’t you submit your piece? Dozens of folks from the community have submitted their piece to be read out loud and reflect the voice of women all over the world, you are more than welcome to submit yours. We have women comment all the time, “What’s a Yoni? What’s this Yoni business?” The performers themselves even have several conversations about what it means to them, if it’s a word they identify with, and how they identify it themselves. The performance has made an effort to time and time again say Yoni is a general term, we challenge you to find yours. We are open to feedback, but slamming the effort online without first reaching out doesn’t help further a productive dialogue.

I am relocating this year so unfortunately I won’t be part of the show, however, the group struggles to find women who are open to performing from a variety of backgrounds. Each year we send out calls for pieces and performers, we have twice weekly performance schedules… and these are not professionally trained actors. These are women from the community. The participation from the Pakistani community is hesitant at best, maybe its because even though the event is free and safe, there is still a social stigma associated with it. However, I strongly feel that if we splashed the word Vagina all over it, even fewer Pakistani women would participate. Vagina isn’t a word that all Pakistani women identify with either, it’s in English, which perhaps you have the luxury of being comfortable with, but not necessarily all women are. Yoni may not be perfect, but I don’t limit myself to just Yoni. I also know Vagina isn’t going to work for a lot of women too because English is not the first language for many- in fact maybe you’ve forgotten is the language of those people that occupied South Asia for nearly 300 years… so I’m not a big fan of English at all times either.

I invite you to attend to submit a piece, attend the show, and actively participate in the Q&A this year. Perhaps your full attendance may give you a different perspective on this community effort.

They have a great list serv via yahoo groups that has women members from all over sharing news articles, event information, and general discussions.

For any women who are interested you can join at: sasisters@yahoogroups.com

or check out their Facebook group page under ‘South Asian Sisters’

I just think the point of an effort such as “yoni ki baat” should be raising money for different campaigns, providing space for different kinds of expressions and also inspiring harsh criticism. Kyla, in my opinion is raising broad political points using “yoni” as a vantage point. One can choose to take those criticisms back rather than brand her feminism or judge her form of activism. Feminism is one of the few movements/political ideologies that takes self criticism seriously (at least where i come from). So taking that for granted, if this note is not feminist I dont know what is.

If i were involved in organising yoni ki baat, my first reaction would also be to be pissed off with kyla. but then, i would think i’d move on to taking this very important criticism seriously and figuring out productive ways by which this could change the project/campaign in a meaningful way. this does’nt mean i demand that kyla participates in that. her criticism itself is participation.

p.s. feminism is feminism. from an armchair or not. sisterhood (ofcourse, dont think all feminists are my ’sisters’) prevails ONLY across differences, by fighting things out with mutual respect.

it’s not about what we call our cunts. but just that we clal it different things. its important that we begin thinking, writing, dancing, singing, speaking about it! but that does’nt mean that we cant couple that with a process of being criticial about what we call it and why!

feminist thinking is difficult. we cant wait for a revolution for criticism to find space. everyday is revolution. and so everyday is criticism.

it’s pieces like this that reaffirm my belief in efforts such as yoni ki baat ironically. efforts that do some material straight forward work with women’s rights while making space for vibrant thought.

it’s pieces like this that keeps feminism moving. we are demanding souls! we never settle! what to do! we enjoy chaos and beat ourselves up and constantly let ourselves be challenged!we can never be one homogenous gang! feminism, liberation, empowerment and other such standard terms are never seen as standard in feminism and thank god for that!

it’s been fun reading this discussion. a good old fashioned feminist debate. phew. been a while.

p.s. i call my cunt/yoni/choot ‘moocha’! my mother named it to tell me about sex, pain and pleasure.

Mabopsa: In Pakistan, “cunt” is usually “choot” (in Urdu, that is) or “phuddi” if it’s Punjabi. I don’t really know about other languages. I did not mean to speak for all Dravidians but the Dravidians I know took issue with it. It’s clear from this comment thread that many don’t, so I stand corrected on that score.

Anjali: I’m not much into race politics, though I realize that’s not obvious from this essay. But I definitely don’t think there’s such a thing as a universal or even all-south-asia sisterhood, or that such a thing is desirable. The eradication of violence against women, power imbalances, those are goals that are good. And as Sapna says in comment 14, the organization that puts on YKB does that kind of work. I’m not against the organization or the women whose stories are in it, but I do think that the production I saw was inherently marginalizing for the reasons I’ve given in the article.

Sapna: No, this is not my version of liberation. It’s not liberating to sit in a production that is focused so heavily on marriage, in which the only queer piece is so subtle, you almost miss that the women are lesbians and which insists the hijab is the Muslim woman’s main obstacle. I offered this critique because the show in Seattle made me angry. You’re right, however, that I didn’t do further research into what the organization does with the funds raised. Had I done that, perhaps this piece would have been somewhat different.

Leena & v-mak: As I understand it, the Seattle performance included many stories from the Seattle community itself. The final result privileged a very hetero- and repro-normative life. I have never seen YKB in San Francisco. I ought to have made that distinction better here, rather than run my rage over what are essentially different efforts with the same name. For that I apologize.

As for the name: I understand the difficulty involved in naming something that is supposed to be “south asian”. There is no over-arching south asian language. But I have found that South Asian groups in the US tend to underestimate the effect that Sanskritizing the group agenda can have on Muslim participants. For ever Muslim that doesn’t mind or care, there’s at least one who feels it as a tacit signal that this isn’t their place. Folks from Hindu backgrounds see it as neutral, in my experience, in the way that the American community at large would see, say, the Kama Sutra as a religion-less cultural artifact. It’s not about making everyone happy, as such, but about making room for as many as possible.

I did actually write a monologue riffing off of this idea. It’s in Urdu though and has a few other issues.

I would also like to apologize for not acknowledging that work that results from YKB in terms of fundraising and domestic violence activism. I should have paid better attention to that when I was writing. I’m also sure it empowers many. I wish the production I saw had been more empowering than it was.

I do understand .2% of where you the writer is coming from, but unfortunately we don’t live in a world where we can cater to everyone. I am south indian, and have no ties to the name ‘yoni’ BUT what saddens me is how the you failed to mentioned the purpose of YKB, and how most of its proceeds goes towards DV (Domestic Violence) foundations that help ALL women. And that you didn’t mention the work the org. does, with things like putting on free all day women’s conferences etc, which again is open to ALL women.

I love how at first you were going to submit, and then decided against it. Had you done a bit of research before getting up on your soapbox, you would realize that performers, and writers may have been either muslim, or pakistani, or south indian etc. for that matter. You instead chose to sit on the bench and just complain. What a waste . . .

Is this this your version of feminism? I fail to see the liberation. If anything, you are hurting the cause. If you don’t like it why not do something pro-active about it? How about you take the time to start your own show? You might find it hard to get past finding a name for the show that is 100% applicable to the whole diaspora, or one that will give people like you “warm and fuzzies” when hearing it.

People that don’t/won’t help, usually are the first ones to complain.

however:
1) the producers of the seattle show chose which pieces they wanted to use from our original scripts, so there are many, many, many more pieces that (i feel) reflect many, many, many more viewpoints than the ones you feel portray marriage as the only viable and respectable relationship (come to sf and check out our show — i swear it’s true)

and

2) since you have such strong views on the subject, PLEASE submit a piece on this topic (or any topic) to our next show. a great way to increase the level of diversity that you see as lacking is to contribute!

thanks.

I understand your reservations with the name. Unfortunately, I can’t imagine a name that would make everyone happy. You could say that “yoni” is (self-)exoticization, or you could say it is a reclaiming of a term that has been put away in spiritual texts or thrown around by white hippies. Granted, it is a Hindu-centric term (all over Hinduism, not just for North Indians), and this does reflect a problematic hegemony while trying to insert a cultural component. On the other hand, it unmistakably links to that part of the world, which “vagina” does not. As for ethnicizing Eve Ensler’s project, it is more like taking the concept and making it our own. I actually have neither seen nor read The Vagina Monologues, though I would like to; but they’re not really relevant to the purpose of putting out South Asian perspectives on sexuality, as far as I’m concerned.

But again, if you feel frustrated with the limitations of the project as you’ve seen it so far, my suggestion would be to submit your own piece, even if the topic is precisely your feeling of marginalization within purported South Asian spaces.

Best,
Leena