Neutrophils just don’t give a damn; they’re a surging crowd of soldier-hooligans.

In a refreshing display of lazy racism, the mentor was both a karate teacher and the owner of a generic Chinese restaurant.

You’ve more or less lowered the bar to just above “basic literacy.”

My libido didn’t know whether to laugh or lock itself in a panic room until help arrived.

I can’t help but notice that gyms are their own miniature ecosystems, with different characters playing unique and wonderful roles.

“That thing’s head is uncomfortably phallic.”

George Clooney’s entire approach to acting is to just be George Clooney.

There’s a sexy “downward dog” joke somewhere in all of this, and I just can’t seem to find it.

Is it even legal to hit an elderly person in a chicken suit?

I feel I’m the sort of goon that would enjoy riding a two-seater bicycle with myself. I really would.