Author Archives: Joe Sapien

“Up in the Air”: post-awards season meditation

George Clooney’s entire approach to acting is to just be George Clooney.
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How to apologize: a primer from Tiger Woods

There’s a sexy “downward dog” joke somewhere in all of this, and I just can’t seem to find it.
Posted in Current Affairs, humor, north america, sports | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

What’s wrong with action movies? A case study

Is it even legal to hit an elderly person in a chicken suit?
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Me & myself: the majestic (?) possibilities of getting your own replica

I feel I'm the sort of goon that would enjoy riding a two-seater bicycle with myself. I really would.
Posted in Science & Technology, humor | Tagged | 1 Comment

Duncan Jones’ “Moon”: most definitive review of all time

I liked this movie the way I dig white guys who play the trumpet and pretty girls who roll their own cigarettes.
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“Twilight”: captain’s log

If you’re turned into a vampire as a teenager, are you doomed to suffer awkward erections for the rest of eternity?
Posted in Entertainment, fantasy, movies | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

I was Zen about the Kanye West thing. You should have been too.

“Finally, a song so annoying it’ll make our enemies just use their weapons of mass destruction on themselves!”
Posted in Entertainment, humor, music | Tagged , | 1 Comment

On Joe Jackson’s awesome parenting, tacky mourners and musical genius

The whole affair is sad, but in a way that’s different from the one the media has been using to wring ratings out of their flipper-clapping public.
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Banned from Wikipedia: a story in pictures

I’d like to show you a few of the changes I submitted to Wikipedia; not to worry, they were all quickly rejected, and were shortly followed by a ban from editing Wikipedia entries ever again.
Posted in Entertainment, Science & Technology, humor | Tagged | 2 Comments

Sexy movies that make you want to stab yourself

Picture, if you will, an emaciated heroin addict making out with a peacock in drag. Throw in a cameo by loud, hammy Ben Affleck and you have… well, something.
Posted in Arts & Literature, Entertainment, humor, movies, sex | Tagged | 7 Comments