I liked this movie the way I dig white guys who play the trumpet and pretty girls who roll their own cigarettes.
If you’re turned into a vampire as a teenager, are you doomed to suffer awkward erections for the rest of eternity?
“Finally, a song so annoying it’ll make our enemies just use their weapons of mass destruction on themselves!”
The whole affair is sad, but in a way that’s different from the one the media has been using to wring ratings out of their flipper-clapping public.
I’d like to show you a few of the changes I submitted to Wikipedia; not to worry, they were all quickly rejected, and were shortly followed by a ban from editing Wikipedia entries ever again.
Picture, if you will, an emaciated heroin addict making out with a peacock in drag. Throw in a cameo by loud, hammy Ben Affleck and you have… well, something.
If I were him, I’d prepare statements that could never get me in trouble – statements like “Money can be used for the purchase of goods and services,” “The economy is complex,” or “Most babies are nice.”
This sort of meta-flattery more or less ensures that at least 25 people will still read about how your favorite book is something classy, like The Da Vinci Code.
“So, uh, Luke was tellin’ me that you had scored, like, tons and tons of American dollars and you were lending them back to us for Treasury Bonds? Yeah, what’s up with that? No, I mean, it’s, you know, it’s fine.”
You’ve seen them, the glossy cards with some absurdly hot girl dancing beside some text. These cards invariably have some pants-wettingly cool way of saying that you can be 18 to party, but you have to be 21 to drink.