Finally, we must remember that most dyed-in-the-tight-jeans hipsters tend to despise Starbucks for being mainstream, capitalist, and lame. And since the hipster view of just about everything is factually wrong, I can’t dislike Starbucks.
… I sat under a checkout counter for about 40 minutes, ate the entire jar of peanut butter, and hissed at anybody that came near me. But it was probably really all just stress.
While I’m skeptical of therapy that doesn’t involve punching through a concrete wall or slashing somebody’s tires, I’m an open-minded individual.
Tell him he looks nice, because flattery works on my entire gender. As a rule.
The Patriots are 18-1; a man hides his face against my shoulder, because the world had suddenly become too much to bear. A few seconds ago, I was trying to eat two chicken drumsticks at the same time, so you can imagine how dignified I must look.
Rafferty swore and lumbered after, as graceful as a bull elephant with an inner ear problem. He grabbed her by the arm, spun her around, and suddenly, they were making out furiously.
I don’t know if it’s human tendency or just human laziness to sum up a socio-cultural period in a few basic concepts, which may or may not represent the whole. But it sure as hell is human something.
I’m terrified of video games. I feel them too much. They stress me out, they scare me, they show me the several million different ways in which I could die.
I’m an “opportunity man:” a man that knows how to take advantage of the chances that life slings your way. It’s easy. You just have to know what to look for and how to think on your feet – it’s really very simple. For instance, let’s say there’s a lady walking her dog in the …