Who’s Afraid of the Big, Bad Scarf? The Censure of the Keffiyeh

June 4, 2008 – 10:32 am

When fashion becomes a crime worthy of the expulsion of winsome celebrity chef Rachael Ray from the billboards of Dunkin’ Donuts, it is clear that the laws of sensibility have been hurled through the moral window.

The advert, depicting Ray and her luminous gnashers against a be-blossomed backdrop, evokes the anticipated summer ambiance and a rapacious craving for the glazed fancies.

Unless, of course, you are a member of the Fox News posse, for whom this is no ordinary advert: it is the manifestation of terror, the teasing tentacle of subversion, and a candid infringement on the security and morals of American society.

The means by which the cheeky chef and her cup of coffee prompted such outrage is inscrutable to the eye of the average individual, yet by viewing the image through the murky vision of the scandal-mongers, all becomes less clear.

Certainly, it is a scarf. A black and white scarf – in paisley, no less.

But wait, as the vision clouds further it resembles a… a… keffiyeh? Read More »

By Feature Writer | Posted in Current Affairs, fashion, middle east, north america, politics | Comments (0)

Today, The Washington Post Made Me Gnash My Teeth

January 30, 2008 – 6:12 am

Sweet Baby Jesus, Anne Applebaum, stereotype much?

Of course there were many very famous “sultry” women in the USSR - things did not begin, and end, with Stalin and Liubov Orlova (an actress from the 1930’s). Where on earth do people get such ideas in the first place? Just because nobody was wearing Chanel does not, somehow, mean that there was no beauty, no style, no sensuality.

And no, not everyone in the USSR wore polyester. But thanks for checking with actual people who lived under the regime.

Why is it OK to assume that before the introduction of Vogue, an entire country couldn’t possibly understand what beauty and style is all about? Sure, consumer goods were practically nonexistent. Sure, looking “different” may have garnered you some unwanted attention. Yet, the Soviets had their own pop culture, they had their own sirens - whether sauntering across the theater stage or walking home from the bus stop. Because the Soviets, amazingly enough, were human beings, with or without Western influence.

While I appreciate the fact that Anne Applebaum isn’t screeching about them evil Russians and, instead, finding something she deems positive, her outlook also completely disregards the thousands of women who have been trafficked from the Soviet Union following its dissolution. Those gorgeous women she sees hanging out with the older men in the posh restaurants? I sincerely hope that 100% of them are there of their own volition, enjoying their time, having a blast.

However, as someone who has actually done research, I’m not entirely sure that my hopes correspond with reality.

I’m not against beauty culture. I do think it’s been, and continues to be, unfairly used against women - especially those who have no interest in participating. Applebaum’s piece has reminded me of the fact that beauty culture can also obscure the issues of traffickers and other exploiters.

I understand the sort of piece that Applebaum was trying to write. She was having fun. I like to have fun too - and get very irritated when pious wailing about Oppressors and Oppressed overwhelms me, because, not every single damn piece of writing has to be incredibly serious and somber and grave. If it was, we’d all shoot ourselves in the head and let the cockroaches take over.

Yet, if you’re going to rely on ridiculous generalizations, your piece is no longer fun. It’s merely tacky. And, quite possibly, damaging.

Before, it used to be “evil Russians.” Now, it’s “attractive Russians” (with an occasional smattering of “evil” - I should also note that people use the word “Russian” to refer to practically all of us who came out of the USSR, but that’s a whole other conversation).

I don’t mind the “attractive” in principle. I get equally tired of condescending Western women who roll their eyes at the poor foreign dears - wearing that make-up! Balancing on those heels! The Feminist Revolution will save you, my darlings, each and every one! Just shut up and don’t speak for yourself!

I merely want there to be a balance. Is that too much to ask for, in this day and age? Read More »

By Natalia Antonova | Posted in Columnist, Society, central asia, europe, women | Comments (15)

British Airways - Baggage Atrocities

January 9, 2008 – 2:02 am

One World, Many Bags Lost - Should be the new British Airways tagline, as far as I’m concerned.

Every year, 10% of bags on average get lost or delayed by the airlines. BA seemed to have a good track record with dealing with lost bags, but this time was different:

I was one of the thousands of passengers who was caught up in the fog drama.

Fog drama? Oh yeah, that happens in Britain every year, and lost bags are nothing new. But, with new security measures it’s another world altogether.

It seems that the ‘one world’ airline seems keen to leave its passengers with ‘one change’ of clothing - and on a ski trip too.

I organised a 6.00 AM flight in order to get to the slopes of Gstaad at 9.00 AM, to fit in a day’s skiing. Unexpectedly, I ran into some friends who were on the same flight but headed to a different ski resort. We checked in together. The check-in desk was in chaos due to planes not taking off (insufficiently sophisticated technology battling the fog).

The man behind the desk was over-worked and exhausted, and mislabelled my bags for my friend’s bags. Luckily, I caught his mistake but was told it would take an hour to re-label the bags, so I would miss the flight (and the connecting mountain bus in Geneva). But, there was space on the next one arriving 4 hours later that would “definitely” have my bags on it.

Alas, in Geneva I was not reunited with my bags. The Swiss told me that my bags were scheduled to be on the next flight over and would be delivered to my address in the mountains that night.

“Thank god,” I thought. That night, I had a black-tie dinner in Gstaad. Gstaad is one of the most elegant ski resorts in the world and the competition to out-glam everyone is fierce.

After all, this is one of the world’s most glamorous places to spend your New Year’s. Listed as one of the worlds most expensive ski resorts, it’s full of dethroned royals, ex-rosey students, billionaire gangsters and the mega rich.

Never in one small town have I seen as many five-star hotels to choose from. I must point out that only one of them was full of stars, however. The Palace Hotel, where competition is takes on a whole new meaning - malice in the palace was in the cards. Read More »

By Feature Writer | Posted in Society, europe, humor, travel | Comments (3)

Our Culture

December 26, 2007 – 2:30 am

I don’t know if it’s human tendency or just human laziness to sum up a socio-cultural period in a few basic concepts, which may or may not represent the whole. But it sure as hell is human something. We do it, and I doubt our kids will be any different.

In America, a relatively new country, we have had our share of major recent events; it has been quite a chapter in our collective history. Like every other generation, ours has been both battered and lifted up by the tides of time. It’s really quite a story, when you think about it. But that’s for the history books. When my kids look back at my generation, what will they see? Will they see a tattered, burning, but remarkably intact banner flapping in the high winds of the past?

Nope.

When we look at previous generations, we consider a few things: how they dressed, how they talked, what was cool, and what they liked. And usually, we laugh about it. Will our children laugh, do you think? Will they fail to understand our times and circumstances, and remember only the silly things?

Nope, again. They’ll probably get it right, and still find us freaking hilarious. Or, at least, yours will. The first time my kids give me some lip, I’m putting all their toys in a box in the front yard. The box will say: “Joseph Jr.’s Free Stuff! Please Take and Enjoy!” I’ll also only refer to my children as “Mouth to Feed” or “Tax Write-off” until they bring me the pelt of a lion they’ve slain with their bare hands. I want to set high standards.

But that isn’t really my point. My point is, what will future generations remember about this particular decade?

How we dress: From what I can tell – which might not be very much – there are two schools of fashion right now. There’s the Retro camp, where you wear clothes that seem to say “I jumped Marty McFly, stole the De Lorian, and drove it to a dumpster from the early 1980’s”: Read More »

By Joe Sapien | Posted in Entertainment, humor | Comments (1)