Tag Archives: humor

The traveler hypothesizes

By the time I reached Chicago, I was absolutely convinced that I had a new traveling companion, a 5’7 white mallard duck named Travis.
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My Superhero Dream Team: prepare for glory!

DMX even sleeps angrily. He is a living embodiment of the philosophy, “temporary insanity is for losers.”
Posted in Columnist, Entertainment, football, humor, internet, movies, music, politics, video games | Also tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Morning in the Life: John McCain

"The worst thing I have going for me is my own party’s incumbent president, and the best thing I have going for me is the brain trust driving the clown car that is the Democratic party nominating process over a cliff..."
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Cristiano Ronaldo and the coming of the Antichrist

You're laughing now, but you'll be sorry later, as ashes fall from the sky, the locusts advance, and, somewhere, Christiano Ronaldo continues to grin maniacally.
Posted in Current Affairs, europe, football, humor, politics, sports | Also tagged , , , | 10 Comments

There and Back Again: my trip to Orlando

...airports are brimming with stupid. Making fun of airports is like playing chess with Nicole Ritchie, or arm wrestling a baby turtle, but I am not above any of those things.
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The Unholy Union of Starbucks and “Juno”

Finally, we must remember that most dyed-in-the-tight-jeans hipsters tend to despise Starbucks for being mainstream, capitalist, and lame. And since the hipster view of just about everything is factually wrong, I can’t dislike Starbucks.
Posted in Columnist, Entertainment, food, humor, movies | Also tagged , , | 4 Comments

The greatest hits of my greatest weaknesses

... I sat under a checkout counter for about 40 minutes, ate the entire jar of peanut butter, and hissed at anybody that came near me. But it was probably really all just stress.
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The Black Beast Rides No More

I distinctly remember being impressed with the two-zone heating system, noting that it wasn’t until my third move that I had such a feature in my house. Alas, the new features out there seem to have eclipsed the Beast.
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I Done Wrote Some Letters

While I’m skeptical of therapy that doesn’t involve punching through a concrete wall or slashing somebody’s tires, I’m an open-minded individual.
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Dating advice from an expert

Tell him he looks nice, because flattery works on my entire gender. As a rule.
Posted in Society, college, humor | Also tagged | 2 Comments