Finally, we must remember that most dyed-in-the-tight-jeans hipsters tend to despise Starbucks for being mainstream, capitalist, and lame. And since the hipster view of just about everything is factually wrong, I can’t dislike Starbucks.
… I sat under a checkout counter for about 40 minutes, ate the entire jar of peanut butter, and hissed at anybody that came near me. But it was probably really all just stress.
I distinctly remember being impressed with the two-zone heating system, noting that it wasn’t until my third move that I had such a feature in my house. Alas, the new features out there seem to have eclipsed the Beast.
While I’m skeptical of therapy that doesn’t involve punching through a concrete wall or slashing somebody’s tires, I’m an open-minded individual.
Tell him he looks nice, because flattery works on my entire gender. As a rule.
From fairy tales to film, everyone is obsessed with the idea of one’s “firstborn.” But what about the lastborn? For my part, I’ve recently discovered that the lastborn child has magical abilities.
He just happened to be sixty years younger than everyone else, with blonde hair, fjord-blue eyes, and the body of a Norse warrior. Well, let’s be honest. Not a Norse warrior. More like a Norse warrior’s younger cousin who goes to the gym once and a while, but you know he also likes his peanut butter pancakes. He was gorgeous.
Any good idea can get hijacked for the sake of advancing asininity, and feminism is no exception. Back in college, flyers tacked up on the walls of computer labs read that “feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” I agree. I’ve always felt human (except for that one year when the immortal genius …
We forget all sorts of horrific experiences we vowed never to do again. A few months pass, and, there we are, willfully signing up to do it all once more. Unlike child birth, we can’t blame it on a lack of – ahem – rhythm.
The Patriots are 18-1; a man hides his face against my shoulder, because the world had suddenly become too much to bear. A few seconds ago, I was trying to eat two chicken drumsticks at the same time, so you can imagine how dignified I must look.