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The American Muslim Teenager's Handbook

Continuing this week’s tradition of cool interviews, I bring you a conversation with Dilara Hafiz, one of the authors behind The American Muslim Teenager’s Handbook

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, a recent publication that has received praise from the likes of Reza Aslan. This book was a family effort: Dilara co-authored with her son and daughter, Imran and Yasmine Hafiz.

Natalia: When did you first get the idea for this book? Did anything in particular spur you on?

Dilara: First of all, my teenage daughter was browsing in a bookstore and found lots of books for Christian, Jewish, Buddhist youth, even Wiccan youth, but nothing for Muslim teens. Also, my son’s classmates at school taunted him and said that he was in the Taliban – but they basically didn’t understand what the difference between Muslim and Taliban was.

Life as a Muslim in post 9/11 America is challenging to say the least! It’s an uphill battle to counter the stereotypes perpetuated by a xenophobic media whilst simultaneously countering the narrow, intolerant version of Islam perpetuated by some fanatical Muslims and mosques in America! My family decided to take some positive steps to make sure our voice, the voice of Moderate Muslims, was heard – we decided to write a book – entertaining, educational, and empowering for Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Hence The American Muslim Teenager’s Handbook

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was born. Librarians and educators have welcomed it as a much needed resource to combat ignorance & shatter stereotypes about Muslims in the West.

Natalia: Was it difficult to write such a book? What was the creative process like?

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Dilara: We first sent out a survey in 2002 to over 40 Islamic schools in America to assess teen viewpoints on various issues including: the 5 pillars of Islam, role-models, culture clash, life in post 9/11 America etc. Over 150 responses are included in our book to show the diversity of Muslims in America.

We covered as many important issues as we came up with – we worked on several chapters simultaneously, we all wrote, edited, discussed, and then re-wrote passages – it’s not easy to get 3 different people to agree! But we offer the mainstream, moderate viewpoint without, judging anyone. We always encourage dialogue, further study into Islam, inter-faith dialogue, and so on.

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We start each chapter with a verse from the Quran, which is the starting point for the serious discussion, followed by a more modern way of incorporating the lesson of the verse into your daily life. Each chapter also contains a more light-hearted, ‘fun’ element, – either a quiz, list, do’s & don’t’s, etc. It took us from 2003-2006 to actually write the book, then another year for graphic design, layout, editing, and publishing.

Natalia: How do you answer your strongest detractors?

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Dilara: I think the diversity of response exhibits that we’ve struck a chord. The overwhelming response has been positive, from both Muslims and non-Muslims – but there is a disturbing, fundamental element in Islam which seeks to silence diversity of opinion and interpretation – the fact that our book shows the reality of Muslims (ie: – not all the girls in the book wear hijab, just like not all Muslim women in reality wear hijab!). The variety of observance in any faith can upset the more conservative element, but in Islam only God is meant to judge us – we are certainly not meant to judge each other. Kingpin

Natalia: Do you feel that this effort has been scrutinized by non-Muslims? How have non-Muslims, especially those people that you do not know personally, responded to this work so far?

Dilara: Amazingly enough – more non-Muslims are purchasing the book as they are welcoming it as an invaluable resource in schools and libraries. Because the book is non-proselytizing and accessible – non-Muslims like it. It offers them a glimpse into the life of an American Muslim teenager – it’s realistic and down-to-earth, plus it is both entertaining and educational, we think.

Natalia: How have the Muslims responded?

Dilara: Some Muslims feel that they don’t need the book because they already know their religion – but Islam encourages us to continue in our search for knowledge. Lots of Muslims are buying the book to give as a gift to co-workers, their grand-children, neighbors, etc. – so we would be very pleased if it contributes in a small way to promoting a beneficial understanding of Islam as well as dispelling stereotypes about Muslims.

The Butterfly Tattoo psp Natalia: Besides the usual book-promotion stuff, do you do anything specific to reach out to the Muslim youth that this book targets?

Dilara: I think the fact that the book is available in libraries and mainstream bookstores will ensure that it is readily available to Muslim teens who may not be associated with a mosque or do not frequent solely Islamic web stores or websites. We’ve been reviewed in many Muslim and non-Muslim newspapers and magazines, so I do think that teens who are interested are able to learn about the book.

Natalia: This may seem like a stupid question, so feel free to have fun with it: Do you think it’s hard or easy being an American Muslim teenager today? One of the reasons that I ask has to do with the fact that when I interviewed Muslim teenagers, a lot of them made statements such as “I can’t be a good Muslim here, I want to move to Saudi Arabia.” Have you encountered this mentality at all?

Dilara: Wow – great question! Honestly – I think the future of Islam lies in the West – where we truly have freedom to practice an Islam free of cultural influences. I think being a Muslim in the West requires more conscious thought, but that it also inspires us to live fully as Muslims while giving a good example to others. Many Western morals and values are fully compatible with being a Muslim – the notion of social justice, community service, inter-faith dialogue, etc. which sometimes is lacking in Muslim countries. I think there’s less hypocrisy here amongst Muslims.

12 thoughts on “The American Muslim Teenager's Handbook

  1. I am one of those Westerners Dilara speaks of glad to find out, first hand, how Muslim teenagers deal with the confluence of religious belief and U.S. culture. I am a Christian Scientist, hence I deal also with misunderstanding of both my religious beliefs, and how I carry out those beliefes in daily living. I found the book both fair and explanatory. We need to cherish and understand each other.

  2. Kudos to Natalia for bringing this resources to light!

    I already knew about the book, but was excited to see this interview. I had been looking for months for books that were applicable to every day life and will acknowledge the diversity in Muslims today. This book is one of those. I look forward to adding it to my library.

    The authors are very accessible, as well, which is important when dealing with a subject such as teenagers. I don’t personally have children or teenagers, yet, but just to have a resource like this for my growing community is very important. I hope that there will be more editions in the near future, or perhaps a ragged version with lots of marks that I can present to my future offspring. 🙂

    I would like see more Islam-related books address common topics that can be related to by a wide variety of people…hint, hint talented authors…

  3. Congratulations to Dilara Hafiz for co-writing The American Muslim Teenager’s Handbook and to Natalia Antonova for interviewing her about it! As a documentary film producer (“RUMI RETURNING”) and a non-Muslim disturbed by the negative stereotypes about Muslims with which the general media bombards us and can be used to feed our fears and lead us into conflicts, I am grateful to hear Mrs. Hafiz’s intelligent, loving voice clarifying the true essence of Islam. Let us follow her brave lead and freely engage in inter-faith learning and dialogue! She is a shining example of many who are playing an active role in the great, growing global momentum to exchange ignorance and hate for respect and understanding of those who at first glance might appear different from us but upon getting to know we discover are our sisters and brothers.

  4. Assalamu alaikum!
    Is being a very great pleasure to write this litle note to you,how are you and your daily activities?
    I have seen your effort on “the American muslims teenagers hand book” and i am very happy wuth this your effort.me Almiythy Allah increese your Iman, Ameen.

  5. While factually true, your statement at the top of page 7 regarding the “discrepencies” of the translations of the Torah imply that the original Hebrew/Aramaic writings were not infallibly copied. Just like your avowal on page 67 that the Quran has been accurately copied throughout the years, the Torah’s Hebrew has not been altered by generations of scribes: It is Jewish law that if any letter of the Torah is miscopied, the entire volume must be discarded. Your writings imply that the Torah is flawed and need be supplanted by the Quran, which is untrue. While translations of the Bible have been errant, the original Word of God has NEVER been altered.

  6. hello i have a teenage son who is going to b 18 very soon even though he is muslim and i brought him up with values but did not turn like i wanted i mean he doesnot act like a muslim
    he lies he doesnot pray and he does things that he should not do i am so comfused i am thinking of sending him to saudi or sending him to marine in usa please help me to the right thing thank u

  7. Hi Mino – I’m not an expert on this kind of situation, but if your son is almost 18, it seems a little too late to try to send him anywhere so that he conforms to your visions and your needs.

    As difficult as it may be, he’s going to have to decide for himself. I think trying to force him to change is just going to cause resentment and bitterness.

    You should give your advice to him, like any parent does, but the final decision on how to live his life is going to be his.

    And if you have access to a family counselor, perhaps it would be helpful to see one, in the meantime.

  8. hello
    I read your talk
    Very interesting

    i from iran

    I am interested in many other Muslim countries you have a conversation
    I’m waiting for you

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