We’ve all felt the economic impact of the pandemic and are trying to stay afloat. Although many of us can survive, vulnerable families face a greater risk of starvation and homelessness. In this time of hopelessness, many people resort to marrying off their daughters. It gives you two things: first, one less child means less financial burden. You can now save more money than you used to be. Second, you may receive “mahar” (bride-price) from the groom’s family, and possibly, some gifts from them.
Sometimes, I wonder why it is the girls who are “sacrificed” when, at the same time, they’re deemed the most helpful around the house. Boys rarely help. But, when living in a patriarchal society where a man is worth more simply because he’s the one who “continues his family line”, the above reason doesn’t apply. No matter how much a girl helps the family, it will never be considered a “sacrifice”. It’s her duty.
Shipra Ja from Girls Not Bride, an organization that tackles child-marriage issues in Asia, said to Al-Jazeera that the number of child marriages has increased during the pandemic. However, this is a complex issue. He said a financial problem is just one reason that leads parents to marry off their daughters. There’s a “shame” factor as well. Girls might use their free time during the lockdown to see boys and it would damage the family’s image. Marrying them off would prevent or remedy such a problem.
In 2018, 4.8 percent of females in Indonesia got married before the age of 17; 1.8 percent of them married before 16 and 0.6 percent got married before 15 years old. It may not sound like big numbers, but considering the sizeable population of the country (the fourth largest in the world), it’s actually a lot. Indonesia’s Ministry of Women Empowerment and Child Protection said that Indonesia has the seventh-highest number of child marriage in the world. In ASEAN, the country sits at the second place after Cambodia.
In a normal situation, keeping kids in schools may help reduce the number of child marriages but, during the pandemic, this doesn’t work. As the government asks schools to start online classes, many parents complain about not having a smartphone. They have to buy one, which means hurting their already bleeding pocket. Students who live in remote places where the internet signals are patchy have to travel elsewhere to find a good one. Again, it adds to the financial burden of the family.
In East Java’s Pamekasan, out of 97 proposals filed to the local religious court in July, 87 were approved. These are all proposals from minors (mostly females) asking to get a marriage pass from the court. An official said that they’ve only approved them after some consideration. They also mentioned that they’ve tried to persuade them to delay their marriage until they’re both 19 years old (the legal minimum age for marriage in the country).
Some men take advantage of others’ poverty and propose to marry their young daughters. This happened a few months ago in South Sulawesi, where a 44-year-old massage therapist married a 12-year-old. It was based on mutual love, both parties stated — though it so happened that the child’s step-father had a serious financial problem, which prevented the girl from continuing with her studies.
According to the girl’s family, their love started when the parents called the man to massage the girl. The girl’s parents had known the man for some time as they often used his service. The child and the man later got into a relationship and decided to get married.
Since they could not marry legally, they went to the Office of Religious Affairs (Kantor Urusan Agama) to be married in an Islamic way. The office rejected them. The girl’s older sibling insisted on marrying them. Since both legal and religious bodies said “no”, the girl’s family decided to marry them traditionally, i.e. using the way of their culture (Bugisnese). Still, they appealed to the Religious Court (Pengadilan Agama) to get an official validation so they wouldn’t face any legal problems in the future. It isn’t known if the court gave them a pass or not.
As the news hit the media, police went to investigate. They arrested the therapist but later released him because “he is blind”. I know mercy is good, but a crime is a crime. Having a sexual relationship with a minor is a crime — and police confirmed that it had happened in this case.
I don’t think the therapist should be released just because he is blind. He was aware of the girl’s age before he married her. His blindness doesn’t determine how he makes a decision.
The police also decided to release him because the man “didn’t force the child into marrying him” and that the love was mutual — and the child confirmed this.
What’s funny is that the release decision was still made despite an investigation showing that the girl had previously been raped by her step-father (39 years old). The one who couldn’t afford to pay for her school tuition.
She could have agreed to marry the massage therapist because she was afraid of her step-father. It was also possible that the family married her off to protect the step-father’s reputation, i.e. if she got pregnant, someone else would take care of the baby and claim it as his.
It isn’t yet known if the step-father was ever arrested. It seemed that everything was discussed peaceably and no punishment was made. The girl, reportedly, has been divorced from the therapist. But who knows what happens next?
Child marriage is not always about an older man marrying a pre-teen as many people might think it is. Sometimes, it happens among teens and young adults due to unwanted pregnancy.
Birth-control pills are not available to unmarried women here (you have to show your marriage certificate to obtain one), while condoms are pretty much available in most drugstores and mini markets. I’m not sure if women can buy condoms without a marriage certificate. Men can.
The problem is young males are more inclined to ignore the consequences of unprotected sex since they think it is women who can become pregnant. They are indifferent to the risk of getting infected with sexually transmitted diseases.
In Central Java’s Karanganyar, the number of teen marriages increased by 80 percent during the lockdown. Most of them were married due to an “accident”, a local euphemism for “unwanted pregnancy caused by unprotected sex”. Marriage is deemed as the only solution as it protects both families from shame.
A simple solution for this would be to make the contraceptive pill available to everyone so the girls can have more control over their bodies. Unfortunately, such a solution would be considered controversial since people think pills would make women become sex-crazed sl*ts. But stocking drugstore shelves with condoms is somehow fine.
Instead of looking at the real problems, parents and those in power blame teen pregnancy on pornography and the lack of religious education. But we have enough religious education already. Just look at soap operas in Indonesia: it’s all about azab, the punishments of doing things God dislikes. We also have religious lessons in schools (from elementary to college level). Despite this, and even after pornography is banned, teenage pregnancy is still happening.
Parents and religious figures who teach their teens to avoid “sins” may believe they do this because they care for them. It’s perfectly their rights to teach their kids about religions. However, they should be more realistic — and less judgmental. If you make sex education a taboo, you’ll have to learn to accept the consequence. You can’t just blame it on the teenagers and their curiosity that’s peaked during this pandemic.
Image credit: Ratna Fitry