Sorrow and Bliss, the third publication by New Zealander Meg Mason, tells the story of Martha Friel, a 40-year-old British columnist facing the breakup of her marriage. Mason has written a stunning, acidic, and tremendously topical novel, in which she casts potent reflections on the capacity to love, modern love, and chronic mental illness.
With wit and heart, the story narrates the painful disintegration of Martha and Patrick’s marriage, just as the writer is forced to move back in with her bohemian parents on Goldhawk Road. There, at age 40, she begins to look back and wonder why her life has gone so far off track from her initial plan.
Very early on, we understand that Martha Friel knows what pain is all about. Something happened to her brain at the age of seventeen and she has never been the same since. Sadly, Martha has lived in a deep and desolate void, and in a way she longs for it all to end.
Since her adolescence, living seems to cost her more than other people. She suffers from crippling depressive episodes and often behaves erratically. The many doctors she has seen over the years have been unable to clearly explain her condition. Nothing and no one has been able to alleviate the sadness that eats away at her.
In general, Martha Friel’s world revolves around her second husband, the noble doctor Patrick; her beloved and fertile sister, Ingrid; and her peculiar parents, the alcoholic artist Celia, and the gentle Fergus, a poet who cannot bring himself to finish his work. They all love her and offer her unconditional comfort and understanding.
Sorrow and Bliss focuses on Martha and Patrick’s strained relationship, just as their marriage falls apart due, among other reasons, to the stress of an undefined mental illness. Things have deteriorated so much between the lovers that, in one telling passage, she confesses to him, “When you do that pointing thing it makes me want to shoot you with an actual gun.”
To which Patrick responds, “How about we don’t talk until we get home.”
While everything is broken at the present time, Martha’s memories show that their relationship was truly unique.
In a way, we can become Martha because we see the world through her perspective
Patrick and Martha have shared a peculiar connection since they were teenagers. He’s attracted to Martha’s intelligence and she’s attracted to his kind and smiling attitude towards life. Both have experienced the butterflies in their stomachs, the blush on their cheeks, and the intense desire that comes with good love. In fact, for some time Martha felt like “we had been melted down and made into another thing. […] It was the happiest I have ever felt.”
To be fair, Patrick has loved his wife with sincere devotion most of his life. But, Martha’s misdiagnosed illness has taken it upon itself to erode their bond year after year. It so happens that Martha’s deep sorrow leads her to continually lash out at Patrick. It is her petty cruelties, rejections and sudden attacks that cause tensions and resentments that are hard to forget.
Although the book deals primarily with the romantic relationship between the protagonists, it should be emphasized that the story also includes complex and often painful family dynamics, especially between Martha, her sister Ingrid, and their mother Celia. The novel offers curious and colorful subplots that enrich the subject matter.
Martha’s Voice
Sorrow and Bliss is written in the first person and told from Martha’s perspective. While the story of a broken, introspective forty-something might seem like a prickly or exhausting read, I can guarantee you that it is anything but. Martha’s voice is a fascinating roller coaster ride. Just as there are moments of deep shock, frustration, and sadness, there are also moments of solidarity, humor, family support, and hope.
Meg Mason’s writing is sharp, biting, funny, and devastating as she chronicles the ups and downs of Martha’s life. Sorrow and Bliss is replete with alarming and comical scenes that reflect the dysfunctions of the entire family, the protagonist’s illness, her professional frustrations, and her countless mistakes in her marriage to Patrick.
In a way, we can become Martha because we see the world through her perspective. This helps us to understand her daily struggles and genuine sufferings, such as when she has to stay in bed for weeks if something goes wrong. At all times, we are there in her head and in her skin, in her helplessness, even in her cruelty, and it’s all devilishly compelling.
The Diagnosis: “- -”
As mentioned above, for much of the fiction, Martha Friel is unclear as to why she feels so bad. Despite having visited a multitude of specialists and having taken all kinds of pills, she does not know what exactly it is that is harming her. It should be noted that this situation is not made clear to the readers either.
And the fact is that, when the correct specific diagnosis finally arrives, the author is careful not to reveal it. It is simply described as: “- -”. Later, in an epilogue, the book will indicate that the condition of the protagonist does not correspond to any definite mental illness.
On this creative decision, Meg Mason has commented to The Guardian: “It’s not the schizophrenia book, the bipolar book, the borderline personality book, it’s a book about what it feels like to have X or to look after someone with X and what it does to the extended family and the marriage.”
The New Zealander explains that in this novel she was particularly interested in exploring the impact of mental illness on a person’s life and the ripple effect on family and significant others. “It’s about illness, but it’s not about a particular illness, it’s about the experience of chronic illness, and what that does to not just the sufferer, but all of the people suffering around her,” she told The Post.
For most of Sorrow and Bliss, Martha reimagines her past and reflects on the person she is, and what went wrong. As the protagonist delves deeper into the decline of her love affair, she realizes how much Patrick means in her life and how much she wants him back.
In the third act of the story, Martha has one last chance to mend her world. She can either resign herself and accept that her life is too broken to fix or she can dare once again and start her journey anew. Everything is in her hands.
Our verdict
Meg Mason has created one of those wonderful works that can be equal parts funny, heartbreaking and psychologically complex. Although the novelist tackles many challenging and dark aspects of life, Sorrow and Bliss has a rather hopeful conclusion, and suggests that, despite all the damage, it is always possible to start over.
Written with wit, chutzpah, and compassion, Sorrow and Bliss addresses important mental health issues, such as the dangers of family secrets (the heritability factor) and denial of mental illness, the disastrous consequences of an ill-advised diagnosis, and the challenges faced by loved ones and significant others in caring for a patient.
If you have not yet fallen for Sorrow and Bliss, I urge you to resist no longer; it is rare, beautiful, and infrequent that an author can tear your heart to shreds with humor, and this is something Meg Mason accomplishes effortlessly.
Image: Alex Green