By Last weekend, I was sitting in a restaurant in Kyiv, eating barbecue wings, and witnessing a new low in the world of Ukrainian media.
The recently launched MTV Ukraine was showing a translated program - it had something to do with hip hop. At the bottom of the screen there was listed something called “The Topic of the Day” - which is basically a question one can answer by texting an SMS to a certain number, if one is bored enough, I suppose. The answers themselves were being fed directly onto the TV screen.
Though I found it hard to believe at first, the topic was “Can you beat girls?”
Yep, there it was, staring me in the face.
I went up to the TV screen and snapped a couple of pictures with my phone. Meanwhile, my table companions quickly became animated as they realized what I was reacting to.
“You’re not going to change anything by being outraged,” Miros’ka (not his real name) said. “Anyway, they have a right to ask an honest question of their audience.”
“This is not an honest question,” Christina (not her real name) argued. “It’s like they’re making a joke. They’re acting as though this discussion is appropriate for a light-hearted forum, as if it’s not a serious problem we face. I’m sorry, but would they get away with a question that was more like: ‘Is it OK to steal money from the elderly?’ NO. Why? Because domestic violence is treated like it’s normal.”
“The problem is that they would even ask this question to begin with,” Borya (not his real name either), the youngest of our group, said.
As you can probably guess by now, I did not take Miros’ka’s position. I have no problem with honest surveys, but taking this discussion and turning it into today’s entertainment is disrespectful, sexist, and dismissive of the very real issue of domestic violence which Ukraine, like many other countries, is facing.
Did I think that MTV Ukraine were being deliberately misogynist? No, not really. But neither did I think that they shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions. The scary thing about misogyny is how we internalize it without thinking, to the point that such an inquiry seems legitimate.
I did not expect this from MTV Ukraine. I did not expect this from MTV in general. Courting controversy is one thing, the normalization of domestic violence is something else entirely.
“You’re too politically correct,” Miros’ka told me.
“Yeah, that’s my problem, you got it!” I snapped at him. “The fact that my aunt finally left her abusive husband this year has NOTHING to do with it! Oh, oh, and I suppose the saying ‘if he hits you, it means he loves you’ [popular in many segments of our society] has nothing to do with it either!”
He got quiet. We all got quiet. The barbecue wings just weren’t going down so well all of a sudden. The responses to the “topic of the day” were pouring in across the screen. Some people took the opportunity to announce their boredom and phone number to any ladies or fellas that may have been reading. Others responded to the question. Many said that beating girls was inappropriate. And yet, many others said yes, and even provided “guidelines” for such behaviour.
If you’re up to it, please send an e-mail to mtv [at] mtv [dot] ua, and tell them what idiots they’re being, and that an apology is needed. Also, please contact MTV proper; their New York number should be 212-258-8000.
Here are the snapshots I took with my mobile phone (the language is Ukrainian, however, anyone who can read Russian should be able to understand it as well):
The first picture is a close-up. In the second one, the MTV logo is visible.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
[...] Natalia Antonova takes MTV Ukraine to task for making light of domestic violence. [...]
September 18th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
[...] Banality of Violence Posted on September 18, 2008 by The Girl Detective On GlobalComment: MTV Ukraine polls its viewers on whether or not it’s okay to beat girls. Also, is it okay to [...]
September 19th, 2008 at 3:10 am
the most terrible shit I’ve ever read.
eatin’ meat- is violence.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:53 am
Love it. Good work, Natalia.
P.S. I suppose Sue is one of those people who compares Jews to chickens.
September 22nd, 2008 at 5:23 pm
[...] Antonova links to her piece on GlobalComment about “MTV Ukraine and the normalization of domestic violence.” LJ user maryxmas has translated Antonova's text into Ukrainian. Posted by Veronica [...]
September 24th, 2008 at 12:22 am
This is disheartening. Thank you for posting this Natalia
September 26th, 2008 at 1:33 am
With Ukraine being a haven for sex tourism and a human trafficking hub, MTV obviously chose not to keep its standards too high.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
How do you know they didn’t mean “Can you beat girls” in like a bowling contest or something, huh, huh????
I was going to mention the wings, too. A feminist should be more aware of other social causes. Like, I’m not going to be a feminist and tell blacks and gays to take a hike. I could, but then I’d be a dick hypocrite in my own book.
October 12th, 2008 at 1:36 am
I am aware of the issues, but I am not a vegetarian, and I furthermore consider comparing chicken to people, like you just did, to be pretty disgusting.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Just a thought
If you eat meat, complaining about how your Ukrainian husband beats you is absolutely hypocritical. I don’t have any sympathy.
Another thought
Ukraine looks like a sick society, but why did move there if you already seemed to know that?
There’s a reason why I will never call myself a feminist or take feminists seriously, that’s because you people all love to act like victims!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Ryan, try comparing me to a f***ing chicken to my face.
Murder, at least you picked the right nickname, baby! So all meat eaters deserve getting beat up? Huh? Statistically I’m sure you’ve got a few meat-eating family members, would you run you mouth to them like that? Who’s the hypocrite now? I’m not even gonna bother with your ignorant comments about Ukraine.
If you two are so high and mighty and enlightened, you ought to go feed yourselves to a pack of wild dogs “for the good of the planet.”
Issues my a$$.
October 12th, 2008 at 8:57 am
I’m a “new” vegetarian. I am embarrassed right now.
Natalia, please don’t think that we are all like this.
P.S. “Plainly Murder,” Natalia is from Ukraine, you fool.
October 12th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Animal rights activists need to step back from trying to shame everyone on Earth into thinking as they do. It’s alienating and invasive.
You’re trying to shock people into thinking “eating meat is not okay” by saying “A practice considered normal by nearly (probably) every culture on Earth justifies domestic violence!” Except you just come off looking like an apologist for domestic violence.
Oh, wait, you are an apologist for domestic violence.
Also, there are close to 22,000,000 adult women in the Ukraine. While I hesitate to say they’re all in abusive relationships, are you willing to argue to each and every one that it’s their fault for choosing to live there?
Sounds like you’ve got some seriously oppressive attitudes toward humanity in general (and women in specific) that you need to work through before you can lecture anyone on what they should be eating in order to earn your sympathy.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Elaine, is that you?