It’s the most wonderful time of the year… or at least that’s what everybody else seems to think. For many people, though, especially those who struggle with their mental health, Christmas and New Year can be a difficult time. The pressure to be happy and festive, combined with the disruptions to routine and social obligations, can take a toll on mental health. This can be exacerbated if you are alone (and don’t want to be) or forced to be with people (and don’t want to be).
But you are not alone in not being a fan of the season, and there are tips and advice that can really help you to get through to January in one piece.
Here are some tips for getting through the holiday season when you’re struggling:
Know your limits
It’s okay to say no to invitations or events that you don’t feel up to. Don’t feel pressured to do everything that everyone else is doing.
If it helps, come up with some potential excuses in advance so you’re not thinking on the fly. But, at the same time, don’t turn everything down – much as you may not feel like seeing people, some social contact with people you love could be better than you anticipate.
Set realistic expectations
Don’t expect Christmas to be a perfect, Hallmark-worthy movie. It’s okay if things don’t go according to plan and it’s ok if your plan looks different to other people’s.
Perhaps you can’t think of anything worse than a turkey dinner with rowing relatives but a walk in a wintry national park with your closest friend would feel wonderful. Try to shake off that social pressure to do it a particular way and tailor your Christmas season according to what soothes your soul.
Take care of yourself
This is the boring stuff that feels like a chore but can actually help you to feel a teeny tiny bit better. Do your best to eat healthily, get enough sleep, and move around a bit.
Do things that you know you enjoy and that help you relax.
Connect with supportive people
Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who make you feel shit. Which is, of course, difficult advice to follow if the expectation is that you will be sharing the festivities with your childhood abuser or the parents who don’t accept your sexuality.
But even putting small things in place can help to get you through. If you have to go to family and you really don’t want to, can you have a Zoom call with your bestie part way through the day? If you have to be alone and you really don’t want to be, can you use the #JoinIn hashtag on Twitter to connect with others who are also feeling miserable or lonely?
Be mindful of social media
While supportive hashtags like #JoinIn can be invaluable and social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, it can also be a source of stress and anxiety.
Take breaks from social media, unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, and try to seek out things that nourish you and avoid the drama and toxicity, at least until 2024 is in full flow!
Create your own traditions
Don’t feel like you have to follow whatever traditions are familiar to you at this time of year. If you have the opportunity to create your own traditions that are meaningful to you, grab it with both hands.
Seek professional help if you need it
If you’re struggling to cope with your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can help you develop coping mechanisms and strategies for managing your symptoms, while offering you invaluable support. While professional therapy is not accessible to everybody, there are also helplines and friendship lines in many countries that could also be a friendly voice in the fogginess of December traumas.
Many people struggle with their mental health during the holiday season, even if you feel like you’re the only person not chomping at the bit to celebrate. It’s just that it’s so socially unacceptable to be the Grinch that many pretend they’re having the time of their life, when secretly they’re just as fed up as you.
And, if all else fails, remember that it will be over sooner than you think. Then 2024 will begin and life will, mercifully, move on to the next thing it has planned for us.
Image: Gender Spectrum Collection