“Abu OCÉANE!!”
John would waltz into my office and call me out in that inimitable style of his that exuded energy, confidence and massive rays of sunshine. He called me Abu Océane in the Arab tradition of calling a person the father (Abu) of their eldest child. John would then almost always follow that greeting with the following sentence or something in a similar vein:
“… When are you going to change the world??!!”
That was the image that kept coming back to me when I was horrified and shocked to learn of the very untimely and tragic passing of my dear friend John Habib in March this year. The death of a dear friend at any time is a tragedy. But the death of John, at such a young age, was just unfathomable. Not only was he young, but he’s one of those people whom you always associated with fervor, active life, humor and endless enthusiasm. All that was silenced and robbed from us in one wicked stroke of the heart that broke ours forever.
I met John in the early 2000s. He was introduced to me through common friends and we had a lot in common as lawyers practicing in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). John moved to Abu Dhabi around 2005 and worked in various law firms and, amongst many achievements, he became the President of AMCHAM Abu Dhabi (the American Business Group that is part of the Global Network of American Chambers of Commerce). In this endeavor, he played a pivotal role in not only connecting the business communities of the US and the UAE, but in bringing groups of lawyers together across the country to explore how the profession can strive for more. He chaired numerous workshops around UAE investment laws and engaged so many of us in energetic debate on law and trade. He was obsessed with the need to build more bridges between Arab and American business communities. John was always extremely proud of his Lebanese heritage. What struck me most was the way he reached out to anyone of merit or talent. Whenever he heard of a lawyer or businessman who was active in an area of interest or who wanted to engage more with the community, John would be on his or her trail.
Like so many truly great people, what marked him most was a genuine desire to make a contribution, coupled with an extraordinary lack of ego. If anything, John had a self-deprecating humor that was on constant display. He never made it about himself.
I also had the pleasure to collaborate with John on a number of legal mandates for clients. He took on clients’ issues entirely as though they were his own. He worked relentlessly to help them achieve their objectives. My last call with him a year ago was about a client of his and he wanted to make sure he got them the best possible legal representation in a country in the region. He made it clear he was just helping because of the injustice they were facing and he was barely making any legal fees out of that work.
That spirit of help was the underlying current to all that John did. Helping corporate clients was one tiny part of it. John was a giant of a man in his charitable work. He was helping worthy causes throughout his life. He was a major champion of Palestinian rights. He worked with organizations such as Palestine Children Relief Fund (PCRF). But he didn’t just give the odd donation here and there, he gave it his all. Amongst other things, the PCRF helps Palestinian children who suffer from any injuries or have medical needs and arranges for them to get the best possible treatment in the US and other countries while staying with generous host families. John hosted three such children back home in the US and for long periods of time.
The third such child they hosted is Shadi Zyoud. Shadi was playing with his brother as a child in the West Bank and they picked up an object to play with. It turned out to be an undetonated device and it exploded when Shadi picked it up. Shadi was seriously injured and one of his legs had to be amputated. With such a life-changing injury and the hopeless life prospects that so many Palestinian kids face, the future looked extremely bleak for Shadi. John and his previous wife Rana hosted Shadi at their place in Arizona and ensured he got the best possible medical support. When it came time for Shadi to return home, John promised to help and remain in his life.
Back in the West Bank, Shadi continued to receive massive support from John. John promised him that if he did well at school, John would do all he could to bring him back to the US to complete his education. Shadi excelled and John stuck to his promise. He worked countless hours to help Shadi get a visa to complete his studies in the US. Through sheer perseverance that is the stuff of legends, John got him back to the US, Shadi worked hard and graduated with a BSc degree in Information Technology from George Mason University. John paid all tuition and living expenses for Shadi through it all. Shadi is now living in the US and is fully independent.
This story is what John Habib is all about. I remember him talking with such beaming pride of Shadi and his achievements. He saved and turned around the life of a Palestinian kid who had lost hope and limb and would have had zero prospects if it weren’t for John. But John’s immense pride in Shadi found no equivalence in any sense of achievement for John himself. Not once did he seem to be self-congratulatory or proud of himself. John acted like this is all just the bare minimum that any human being would do. I wish I had had the time to tell John that what he regarded as the simplest form of support is actually one of the greatest acts of kindness and selflessness I have ever seen. John lived a life that is as exceptional in the quality of his deeds as it is in the humility in which he conducted it.
John had a passion for politics and we would talk about it endlessly. I always worried though that he would be a lifelong armchair politician and not really do anything about it. But I was wrong. After well over a decade in the UAE, he decided to move back home to New York and his beloved town, Croton on Hudson. He continued to run his law practice. But he then finally took the leap into active politics. He ran and was elected as a Trustee on Croton’s Board of Trustees. It was a first step but a really important one. He rolled up his sleeves and got involved in many initiatives in his hometown. I was so happy when John told me he had made this move, though he downplayed it in his usual way. I was so sure we would keep hearing of one win after the other, and that John would make it big in US politics. And it is in this sense more than any, at least in terms of professional pursuits, that I feel we were all horribly robbed. He had so much promise. But our John, just like Ted Kennedy said of his nephew John F. Kennedy Jr., “had every gift but length of years.”
While preparing for this article, I asked many of John’s friends for stories and their memories of John. All of what I heard spoke to one major theme: John’s humanist touch to everything. Many friends, just like me, were always struck by how much John asked about their family and children. He remembered the names of everyone’s children and asked after them religiously. Another common friend, Clotilde Iaia, remembered how she had mentioned once in passing that she couldn’t wait to watch a movie that was coming out soon. Somehow John got tickets for the UAE premier of that movie and invited Clotilde to join him. Clotilde, an Italian expat in the UAE, also remembered how John always brought her back little mementoes from Little Italy in NYC whenever he travelled there. This was so in line with so many other memories of his friends.
Another theme that comes across is John’s unfailing sense of humor. He would attribute a lot of quotes to his dear father, including this gem: “If bullshit was music, you’d be a brass band”! So many people remember his infectious laugh.
I was also reminded recently that he once got me as a present a fridge magnet with this brilliantly playful quote by Ogden Nash: “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely”!
John’s life is an embodiment of this timeless and famous quote by Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
And now back to the business of changing the world. When John would implore me to do something to change the world, I felt he was singling me out for something great. But reading some of the wonderful tributes that have poured in after John’s passing, I learnt that he was imploring so many of his friends and family to do the exact same thing! Yet I don’t feel a tiny speck less special than he always made me feel. For that was the style and content of character of this man. He wanted everyone around him to rise to their potential and do something amazing. He pushed us all to be the better version of ourselves.
I cannot imagine the pain that John’s family, especially his beloved wife Tanya, are going through. It’s such an unjust and horrible cut of a life story that was still bursting with the greatest promise of what lay ahead. I remember him talking endlessly of the love and peace that Tanya brought him and there are no words to console such loss. All I can say is that for all of us, the only certainty is that life is but a fleeting thing. All you can hope for is to make the world and the lives of those around you better. And no one I’ve ever met has had more impact on his friends than John did.
Like so many of his friends whom he implored to make the world a better place, I am not sure I will meet John’s expectations. But I can assure him that whenever I strive to do more with my life, John’s voice is amongst the loudest that ring in my ears.
God bless you dear friend.