Global Comment

Where the world thinks out loud

Roy Moore needs some cash. I have an idea he might like

A caricature of roy moore

The degree to which the American right espouses an attitude of “I’m alright, Jack” is pretty shocking to outsiders, especially given that the biblical Jesus they profess to follow was all about generosity and giving.

I expect it is, in part, a reason the American healthcare system has turned out like it has; nobody has any responsibility to help anybody else out, even via the means of taxation, which the American right hates. Until their kid needs educating or their house is on fire. Then, the tax dollars of their neighbours and friends can go to work helping them out so that teachers and firefighters can be employed and their services managed.

But, when it’s not you that needs assistance, then it’s apparently unChristian and unAmerican to share. If your child is going to die of cancer without treatment that costs ten times what it does in the rest of the world, you should have planned better. If you want to go to University but the fees are obstructively high, you don’t deserve an education. And if you get wrongly arrested and can’t afford a good lawyer, see you in jail.

If you’re struggling, pull yourself up by the bootstraps – that’s what they say, isn’t it? Go and get a minimum wage job and support your family like God intended. Get a second job, a third job, a fourth job, and work until you die, knowing that you will never, ever have anything like the wealth and power that some people are handed on a plate. But that’s somehow your fault, and you can believe in the American dream if it helps you to live through the unrelenting hours at your uninspiring, exhausting, demeaning jobs.

Here, have some thoughts and prayers.

This is not an attitude exclusive to America, of course, nor is it one that every American supports. Many millions of people are generous and helpful and don’t even object to paying their taxes. In fact, they wish their tax dollars would do more for society than they currently do. They chip in to Go Fund Me appeals when somebody’s health takes a bad turn, and they donate tins of food to food banks, cosmetics to women’s refuges, and blankets to pet rescue centres.

They want to help, because they know that it could easily be them in a position to require the assistance of others. And because it’s the right thing to do.

So imagine my surprise when Roy Moore, that judge with a thing for teenage girls, put out a call pleading with his followers for cash. It’s all the fault of some lawyers, who he says “have hired one of the biggest firms in Birmingham Alabama to bring another legal action against me and ensure that I never fight again”, by which he means “who are suing me on behalf of a woman who I am accused of locking in a car and sexually assaulting”.

But he doesn’t call her by her name, he refers to her as “the unholy forces of evil behind their attack”. Nice.

Moore is requesting $250,000, of which $100,000 is for legal fees. The thing is, the woman who is suing him does not want monetary damages or even a trial; she is “seeking compensation for legal costs, an apology, and a ban on Moore publicly attacking her”. If he would just do that, he would save $100,000 in an instant.

And the remaining $150,000? Nobody knows what that is for because Moore does not deign to explain. Even to the people who no doubt earn considerably less than that per year who are donating to his fund.

Moore is smart, though, in that although he mentions his legal woes, he goes on to indulge in the kind of rhetoric that gets god-fearing believers to open their wallets. He blames the gays, abortion and boasters. Yes, boasters.

He spat: “Gays, lesbians, and transgenders have joined forces with those who believe in abortion, sodomy, and destruction of all that we hold dear. Unless we stand together we will lose our Country.

“Christians can no longer afford to remain silent in these “perilous” times. For we know that in such time men shall be come lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.

“We must fight, an appeal to the God of Heaven is all that is left us!

“Please help me fight this battle for the heart and soul of this Nation. Your financial contribution to my legal defense fund is crucial.”

To turn around his appeal from one where he is defending himself against sexual assault allegations into one where he is literally fighting for God in heaven against lovers of pleasure and truce breakers is a move that will, depressingly, lead to at least some degree of success for the man.

Moore says he is struggling to make ends meet, but I know a great solution to that. Get yourself a job at McDonald’s and then, on your day off, work at Burger King. If you can’t fit in some pizza delivery on an evening, then you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Illustration: DonkeyHotey/Creative Commons