Romantic comedies and young adult series aren’t really my bag. My romances usually come with zombies and I’m not that involved in YA/NA at all. But sometimes you just have to put down your preferences, set your differences aside, and support something worthwhile.
So when the buzz around the smash hit Crazy Rich Asians and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before hit my virtual doorstep, I knew I had to sit down for some romantic comedies showcasing Asian leads without making them objects of fetish or ridicule. Crazy Rich Asians was a little over the top for my tastes, but I found To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before a little more my speed.
Oh, I said I don’t really do romcoms? I kind of lied. As it turns out, despite my predilection towards top Z-Grade cinema and dodgy European softcore exports, I am a total sucker for pretend relationship shenanigans and general cuteness. And I can definitely relate to awkward teen rituals like writing your crushes letters to never be sent.
So, does To All The Boys hold up? Why, yes! There’s a lot to love about this movie and it pulls just about everything off with aplomb. It’s a highly relatable romantic comedy for teens and adults alike, because don’t act like you’ve never had that weird phase where pretending to date a boy or girl to get revenge sounds like a great idea. But the complications come when you fool around and fall in love for real. Oh dear. That was everyone’s high school experience, right?
Lara Jean is such a refreshing heroine. Her fashion is chic and obtainable, she’s shy but not a complete wreck, and she’s no damsel that needs saving by any of her potential love interests. She’s in control which is important to see during those precarious years of high school where it seems like everything is so much bigger than it is.
And speaking of the high school itself, the whole cast feels equally fleshed out. The script overall eschews teenage stereotypes in favor of letting the young cast act… normal? What a concept. The cinematography is extremely pleasing and there are some fantastic, meaningful shots that still linger in my mind.
Perhaps my favorite part of this movie is that it portrays healthy family and romantic relationship dynamics. Lara Jean, her sisters, their father, and even Josh and Peter actually talk their issues through rather than jumping to huge leaps of logic for the sake of drama. That makes the events of the film feel low key, but ultimately satisfying because they flow at a normal pace. Again, what a concept for a young adult romcom. There are definitely some over the top dramatic moments but they are well-placed for maximum impact.
For all its high points, To All The Boys does drop into some of the pitfalls of your average romcom, especially one involving young people. The biggest one that stands out to me is dialogue. It’s especially noticeable when the rest of the interactions between the characters feel natural and fun. The flirting between Lara Jean and Peter was a big highlight for me. That makes it all the more annoying when a character drops into teenspeak that may or may not exist. Really, “H up and down on P”?
Another low point for me were the constant reminders that I was viewing the lives of teenagers way out of my sphere. I was hoping that trope had died in the ‘90s but here it is again. Is it inherently bad? No, but it does remove some of the element of relatability unless you, too, are a well-to-do junior in high school. The clothes, big house parties, cars, and suburban to ski resort setting speak to an income gap that can be a little uncomfortable, sometimes off-putting. None of that is really addressed in the movie, of course, because that’s just their world. Part of me kept wondering what this would look like with, say, a lower class teen and an upper class teen or even two lower income status teenagers. Would it still work? Or is this more acceptable as a fantasy for some of us?
To All The Boys also unfortunately still pushes the common romantic trope of “you should have a boyfriend by now!!” which I find often unhealthy. Worse, because some of the push comes from Laura’s younger sisters. Even though Lara Jean actually attempts to subvert this notion with her fake dating ploy, it still doesn’t get a ton of exploration. I think it’s fair to ask a movie that goes out of its way to subvert a few genre centerpieces to address that, but perhaps that awaits us in the sequel.
For its pros and cons, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before is still a sweet, subtle movie. It’s exciting to see a young Asian girl not played up for stereotypes, brownie points, or exotic fetishism and especially a young girl that is so in control of herself and understands her worth. It’s exciting to see a high school film look like it was actually set in a high school with high schoolers. It’s exciting to fall in love with characters as they fall in love with each other and grapple with issues far beyond prom and planning outfits. There’s a little something for everyone here, even for those of us cold and bitter of heart! (But you and I both know we’re all big ol’ softies deep down inside.)