November 17, 2008 – 12:54 pm
My dear friends,
I have always known that I was special, that I was different from others around me. While the other boys and girls would play soccer or sit on the swings at recess, I was content to sit under the slide and eat woodchips.
In high school, when everyone else got dates and rented limousines, I put on a white opera mask and haunted the junior prom with mixed results. And while I have often been called “low-functioning” or “in need of constant supervision,” I have always known different.
The truth is that I possess powers and sense far beyond those of other mortals. Through my knowledge of astrology and numerology, as well as my own natural psychic gifts, I have grown into a person-shaped portal for the knowledge of the Universe. Much like Superman or the dolphins that warn swimmers of sharks, I want to use my powers for the good of my fellow man.
To this end, I have taken on a new, enlightened personality dedicated to answering important, heartfelt questions about your career, spouse, love life, or any of that other junk.
My heart is consumed with love, and expanded to hold the infinite wisdom of the expanding universe. My name is Joseph Origami. And I am here for you, my children.
Recent Questions:
Q: What was I in my past life? What was the most important thing I learned? - Historical Lauren Read More »
October 15, 2007 – 3:15 pm
You know what? Here’s what I’ve been thinking about. Life does NOT have to be one long, relentless learning experience!
I’m thinking of the parenting issue right now in particular. I know people online who are soon to have babies, and have expressed concern at ‘getting it right’ wherein being a parent is concerned.
I get that, I really do. I wanted to get it right, and for the most part my kids seem to have turned out OK. None of them are in jail; no one has gotten a girl knocked up (hush! I don’t want to hear it!), and they all seem to be relatively well balanced individuals.
I didn’t follow all the rules. My family doesn’t own the biggest, most excessively safe vehicle available. I did not feed the kids organic baby food. I didn’t research which pre-school would get them into Harvard or MIT. I didn’t even buy clothes from Gymboree or a similarly overpriced venue. I used a simple umbrella stroller, while the Escalade of strollers was taking up the entire back end of my special Parenting Magazine-Approved, Safety-Rated Minivan. Read More »
I was recently asked to give a speech to a first year medical school class on the occasion of their finishing their first session. The class session was entitled Doctor, Patient and Society and it introduced the students to the ethical and moral issues that relate to being a practitioner of medicine on people.
I was never good at giving speeches, nor particularly good at writing. I have a mild voice that drifts into a whisper because of shyness. This same shyness becomes apparent in my style of writing. However, it was a challenge to get me out of my cocoon and therefore, I accepted.
The subject of the speech revolved around humanism in medicine. It is an important concept that is very close to my heart. However, as I started to write this speech, I was facing the question: What does humanism in medicine even mean? What does it take for a person to be humanist within his or her profession? Read More »
According to…someone…we are all born with an innate “common sense.” I disagree. Common sense is about as common as snow in the desert. And, given the world around us, it’s not hard to understand why. It never ceases to amaze me how, well – stupid – our society has become.
The more I observe people, the more I believe that, in another few thousand years, the human brain will serve little purpose other than to keep the skull from caving in. I’m not kidding. As humans, our ability to reason and think (and I do use the terms loosely here) has not served us well on many fronts. Here are three of the most common scenarios that really make me wonder what people are thinking, if at all. Read More »
“God take revenge on the Americans and those who brought them here. They have no regard for our lives.” Those are the heart wrenching words of a brother whose sister has just been gunned down by trigger-happy young Marines in Samara, while she was racing towards her maternity hospital. For how many people is he speaking? Millions? Billions? Read More »
October 4, 2005 – 9:19 pm
On July 21 2005, I received an email from a company asking me to accept a simple, but very profitable job offer. Being new to posting my resume online, I was thrilled that not only had I gotten an offer, it was a job I could do from home – no interaction with potentially rude customers, no rigid schedules, and it wasn’t complicated, all of which were important to me. So I replied to the email, signed an employment agreement, and I was on top of the world. The perfect job had fallen right into my lap. Right?
Wrong. Read More »
To all Americans who have been horrified by the dreadful scenes of the charred and mutilated bodies of their fellow countrymen and women dragged through the streets and hung from bridges in Iraq , I would like to say a few indispensable words.
First, you must know and believe that such abominable acts are absolute anathema to everything the Arab culture and the religion of Islam stand for.
When prophet Mohammad entered Mecca as a conqueror after long years of forced exile, he didn’t shed a drop of blood. On the contrary, the legendary forgiveness bestowed upon those very people who drove him from his home and were bent on killing him was immortalised when he declared, upon entering the holy city, that those who take shelter in the house of Abu Sufian, his defeated arch enemy, shall be safe. The prophet then addressed the leaders of the vanquished city and their followers, absolving them: “Go, for you are free”. Read More »
