We often talk about what it means to live in a “post-truth world,” but what’s really interesting is when your life becomes an honest-to-God case study.
This week, a military friend of mine posted the results of a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request into an investigation that was conducted after lies about him were spread online and then reported to his chain of command.
This investigation is personal, because among the accusations leveled against him was this one: that he’d cheated on his wife. With me.
The funny thing is, while I consider this man – a Green Beret who we call Red – a friend, we’ve never actually met. I interviewed him for a podcast once, and we talk in a group chat, but we have never been in the same room, nor have we had any private correspondence.
And yet, we’ve been accused of having a torrid love affair like something out of late night Skinemax (Skinemax is what we used to call Cinemax, a channel that showed sexy movies late at night, back in my day).
It’s a crazy story that got even crazier last year, when Red’s accuser courted a big-time conspiracy theorist with this “information.” This conspiracy theorist later on went on a podcast and accused me of seducing Mike Flynn – another guy I’ve never met, and certainly don’t consider a friend.
When people began contacting me about this, I was initially at a loss for words; a rare moment for a person with a big mouth like mine.
Why were Red and I singled out for this treatment? Well, I used to work for Bellingcat, and our accuser didn’t like an article written there. Around the same time as that, Red had figured out that this accuser had exaggerated his service record.
From a couple of random online arguments, a conspiracy theory was born.
I feel weird when I talk about conspiracy theories that involve me. They’re fundamentally so crazy that I sound crazy repeating them.
I’m usually well-equipped to deal with bizarre accusations. Making the right people mad is one of my missions in life. I didn’t ask for it, it’s just how it worked out. From my interactions with Red, he’s also pretty entertained by angry online bugmen.
Yet what is fascinating and frustrating to me is the fact that I already know that not even the FOIA’d documents will put the conspiracy to rest. Of course the investigation into Red revealed the accusations were unsubstantiated. OF COURSE I don’t go around sleeping with married Green Berets for Putin (I tried to avoid this detail, but I might as well include it – the accuser alleges that I am a “Russian honey trap…” Yep, not even Russia’s war against my native country could inspire some decency in this man!).
You can have all of the evidence in the world, you can have a cut-and-dried official investigation, and it won’t matter at all to a conspiracy theorist. The thrill these people get from making false claims and attempting to ruin careers and lives outweighs facts. Facts are boring to them.
I’ve been told that I probably have grounds to sue, and it’s likely that Red does too. But conspiracy theorists are mostly absolute losers, especially when they’re not the big-name kind. From what I gather, if I won a lawsuit, the accuser would have to pay me in collectible toys – as they seem to be his only assets – and I have enough clutter in my life.
I’m telling you this not because I want your sympathy – although sympathy can be quite nice, the world needs more of it, probably – but because bizarre lies spread easily online and can affect almost anyone. I’m not a celebrity. In my field, I’m somewhat of an oddball. I’ve lived an improbable life, but I’m certainly no one important, the occasional viral tweet or controversial article notwithstanding.
And yet I’ve had a grown man obsess about me for years, spread lies about me, and then get cranks with bigger platforms and followings to spread MORE lies. I don’t imagine it will ever fully stop. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. We’ve all heard about online arguments spinning out of control, and sometimes there is no telling where it will all end up.
It’s not fair, and I don’t know what the solution is. The only advice I can give others is to document everything and learn to have a sense of humor about it should someone decide to zero in on them. It can be uncomfortable, and cruel, and weird, and distressing, but you might make new friends along the way – as I did, when I began staying in touch with my accuser’s other victims, who are numerous.
Again, I am reminded of the fact that the internet is a blessing. And also – the internet is a mistake.
Not only should we all know less about each other, but frequently, what we think we know about each other is just malicious bullshit.
Image: PAO 6 Gp CIS
