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September 2022 horror streaming round-up

The Black Phone

As my mood fluctuates wildly between hatred, despair, and grief due to wretched state of the UK under this despicable Tory government, I have increasingly found myself drawn to the horror genre on various streaming sites to look for some light relief.

The Black Phone

Directed by Scott Derrickson and based upon a short story of the same name by Joe Hill, The Black Phone is a bleak, yet strangely uplifting tale of child abduction and supernatural intervention set in a Denver suburb in 1978.

The child snatcher in question is “The Grabber”, who uses inventive sleight of hand to ensnare his victims. When high-school misfit Finney is taken, he is aided by the ghosts of previous victims and his psychic sister, Gwen.

The Black Phone doesn’t break new ground, but the young cast make you root for them and Ethan Hawke is mesmerising behind his Onibaba/Green Goblin styled mask. The use of Pink Floyd’s, On the Run only adds to the film’s dark and otherworldly nature.

X

A gnarly throwback to 70s slasher movies like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Ti West’s X features Mia Goth as Maxine Minx, an aspiring porn actress who heads to a remote farm to make an adult film with a bunch of like minded hot young things. The group’s perceived debauchery put them in direct conflict with the elderly owners of the farm, Howard and Pearl, with very bloody results.

West expertly weaves in astute criticism of the Evangelical Right in America and a treatise on aging in a society that idolises youth, but this is Mia Goth’s show, an X-rated Shelly Duvall barnstorming to greatness and set to appear in the upcoming prequel, Pearl. 

Nope

It could be tempting to look at the diminishing returns of Jordan Peele’s movies since the huge cultural impact of his debut, Get Out. Both Us and Nope have been criticised for Peele trying to cram in too many ideas and losing the killer execution of his debut (shades of M. Night Shyamalan?) but surely, we want directors who take big swings?

Nope features Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer as siblings who train horses for Hollywood productions. After the death of their father by a ‘Bad miracle” they become convinced a UFO is hidden in the clouds above their ranch. Nope clearly references Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind but with Peele’s sly eye for detail and the undoubted star power of Kaluuya there is enough new in Nope to make you say Yep.

Day Shift

Dayshift is an old-school, gloopy, vampire shoot-em-up in the grand tradition of From Dusk till Dawn and John Carpenter’s Vampires.

Jamie Foxx is slumming it as Bud, a vampire hunter posing as a pool cleaner in L.A. Bud needs ten grand yesterday and teams up with rookie supervisor Seth (a likeable Dave Franco) and veteran vampire hunter “Big” John (Snoop Dog crip-walking) to take down an organised gang of sun-proof vampires.

The action is typically well-staged and backed up by a killer rap soundtrack. The standout sequence features martial arts legend Scott Adkins and Steve Howey as the Nazarian brothers kicking all sorts of vampire ass when they discover a nest of bloodsuckers.

Dayshift is likely to get dismissed by all sorts of critics but if you want to see Foxx wise crack his way through some goofy fun, then draw your curtains, keep the sun out and fire up Netflix.

Carter

If you are the kind of person who doesn’t like rollercoasters, first-person shooters, or a constant stream of hacked off body parts, then you should probably give Carter a wide berth.

Jung Byong-gil’s gonzo action thriller takes place in Korea after a zombie-like virus has spread from the DMZ. That’s really all you need to know as the convoluted plot featuring memory-wipes and double crossing takes a back seat to the all-out action. The set-pieces are hyper-kinetic and relentless, a high-wire act of drone shots and cameras defeating gravity at every turn.

Carter gets repetitive but the fight on the highway where the combatants kick ass in between cars and mini vans wouldn’t be out of place in Mad max: Fury Road.