For the past 42 years, since the establishment of the Islamic Republic, one of the biggest concerns of Iranian families has been emigration from their homeland. According to the Association of Iranian Studies, approximately four to five million Iranians live abroad. There have been various reasons for these migrations. Sometimes it is economic, and sometimes censorship. Many famous Iranian filmmakers, singers or actors such as Bahman Ghobadi, Mohsen Makhmalbaf, Susan Taslimi, Googoosh, Behrouz Vosoughi, Golshifteh Farahani and hundreds of other artists are no longer in their own country and have preferred to move to to continue their activities. But the big cause has always been social and political conditions.
My family is no exception. My father, in particular, always raised this issue with me. I remember for the very first time, almost ten years ago, he asked me whether I would like to leave Iran or not. I became a little confused. Why would I leave my family? And what would I achieve after migrating?
I believed that most of us Iranians don’t look at the past of developed countries and don’t want to accept that the Europeans or Americans have gone through difficult times but haven’t given up. For example, the situation of LGBTQ communities has been difficult for the past few decades but over time, and of course, fighting for their rights, they have been able to change the laws of their countries. I don’t think anything would have changed if British or American gay people had thought of emigrating from their countries in those circumstances.
When Biden withdrew US troops from Afghanistan, he was widely criticized. “It’s up to the people of Afghanistan to decide on what government they want, not us to impose the government on them,” he said in a speech on July 6, 2021. Was he right in general? Should I be strong enough to contribute to the formation of an ideal government and have my own share for a better society?
I have asked myself many times how information can be properly conveyed to people in a situation where censorship is ubiquitous and it isn’t possible to speak freely. There is no independent newspaper or news agency in Iran. The country’s largest media is television, which is wholly owned by the government. Only on the internet can one have a little freedom, and the government can easily imprison or execute human rights activists. An example is Sattar Beheshti, a blogger and activist, who was executed for criticizing the government. Or consider the efforts of Iranian women to fight against the compulsory hijab, which have remained ineffective to this day. Imagine a society where women still struggle to dress freely after 42 years. This may be ridiculous for European women, but it is really annoying and irritating for us. We witness violence against women and girls, and they have been physically attacked, fined or arrested for not wearing hijab or for loose hijab. The explosion of the Ukrainian plane was another reason that proved to me that change in Iran is impossible because the protests had no result and no one has yet been tried for killing 176 people! It is depressing.
My first step, a few years ago, was when I stopped working with Iranian newspapers because censorship is rampant, and working with news agencies means that you must be affiliated with a government organization or a politician. In addition, newspaper editors, even well-known newspapers, expect freelance journalists to work for free and only pay their employees. I have worked with many Iranian magazines and newspapers, but they have not paid me a dollar for my writing. My payment was anxiety and stress because the cost of living was rising every day and I had no significant income.
Facing with such situations, I decided to do my best and still have a positive attitude. I decided not to give up easily and see all of this as a big challenge to overcome, no matter how difficult it is. I increased my working hours and followed pattern design alongside journalism so that I could increase my income… but things got worse!
The impact of US sanctions, especially during the Trump period, on the Iranian people and my own life has been enormous. Meanwhile, inflation has risen sharply in the last three years and it is said that it may increase further. But what is this pressure? Imagine paying $50 for a pair of shoes in your country, but after sanctions, rising inflation, and rising production costs, the price increases tenfold to $500 in two or three years! Now I want you to imagine that all your basic needs, such as food, clothing, books, utensils, medicine, all increase tenfold but your salary stays the same or, eventually, doubles. Could you stand such financial pressure?
I shouldn’t give up. When I decided to write for English-language newspapers and magazines, I was not just looking for more money. I was angry! I was so angry at the Iranian editors who didn’t pay me. And because I couldn’t write about simple things. I was angry at the closure of magazines, at the increasing the price of newspapers and the decrease of the readership! And for a situation that was like a nightmare to me.
I remember my first article in English was published on Global Comment. It was a good step. I also sent many different pitches to other newspapers and magazines. Some editors were willing to pay seven hundred dollars or a thousand dollars for my articles. I was excited because after a long time I could be a little more comfortable and more focused on what I do, but I had a new problem again. These editors refused to work with me as soon as they found out I live in Iran because they said that they still could not transfer money to my bank, given U.S. sanctions. Iranian banks are under sanctions and those magazines have not made other ways to pay (such as PayPal) available. On the other hand, many freelance websites don’t accept Iranian users and we cannot become members. I wanted to continue, but each time a bigger obstacle appeared in my way. Obstacles that freelancers in other countries don’t face at all; they only try to improve the quality of their work or think of marketing and finding more customers.
A few months ago, a friend of mine returned to Iran. He is now a Canadian citizen and comes to Iran every few years to see his relatives and friends. He used to say that living conditions in another country are not easy, but if I had made the effort I have made in Iran so far in another country, my situation would have been much better. After living in Canada for seven years, he was able to buy a good home and live a comfortable life.
That’s why I think a lot about my father’s advice these days. I have made my decision. I want to leave my family and friends, whom I love so much. This migration means that I will not be able to be with them for the next few years.
On the other hand, when I read about homeless European or American people, or how people try hard to make a living and they too may have hard times, I get more and more anxious. Will my success be certain after emigrating and can I still write or design? What if the people of that country do not accept me and treat me like a stranger and I can never find new friends? How many years will it take to improve my situation and to get used to a new society? I don’t know!
My father died on September 15, 2021. He had told me before his death that one of his wishes was for me to leave Iran. It is very sad that a father wishes his son would leave his family and his country and never, ever come back. This time, after ten years, I understood very well what he meant. He didn’t want his son to confront the problems he had faced, which had never ended.
Images: Sajad Nori and Steven Su