You might have noticed that the United States has a tiny problem with gun violence.
Don’t worry though! Texas State representative Matt Schaefer has noticed too!
Texas, if you haven’t heard, has some truly loose gun laws — even as compared to our generally loose gun laws. It keeps experiencing gun massacres one after another, and Rep. Shaefer has a brilliant plan to take care of all that:
What can we do? YES to praying for victims. YES to praying for protection. YES to praying that God would transform the hearts of people with evil intent. YES to fathers not leaving their wives and children. YES to discipline in the homes. 4/6
— Matt Schaefer (@RepMattSchaefer) September 1, 2019
I think prayer is a brilliant solution to the problem of gun deaths, but I’m afraid we’re not utilizing its full potential.
For example, we can also:
Pray And Drive
Assuming you have kids, you probably put them in a car seat or a booster seat or, if they’re older, tell them to buckle up when they’re riding with you.
What kind of a faithless heathen are you, though?
As Rep. Schaefer has clearly demonstrated, you can just as easily replace that pesky seatbelt with a quick prayer before you start the engine.
Oh, the government might disagree with that course of action? As Rep. Shaefer points out, we don’t really need government for most things to begin with. It’s doubtful that things like clean water and herd immunity have anything to do with government, for example. So stop listening to what the government is telling you, and start praying instead. It’s what common sense and logic demand.
Pray, Don’t Plan
It’s what they did in the olden days, for one thing. And things always seem like they were better long ago. There were no millennials then. No Spatchnat, or whatever it’s called. No marijuana injections.
For example, you COULD turn on the news and check to see if a giant hurricane is barrelling down upon you — but why do that when you can say a prayer and turn up Fox News to drown out the howling of the winds? If you die, it’s at least a poetic way to go.
You could use your GPS when driving down an isolated road — or you could put your faith in the Lord instead.
You could go for that yearly check up — or you could trust that God will make it right.
Pray Instead Of Doing Safety Checks
Ever notice how long it takes to get a plane off the ground? They’re always going through stupid checklists, or de-icing, or testing, or whatever it is they do in there. Meanwhile, that Florida resort with the all-you-can-eat crab salad is waiting.
Have the pilot say a prayer and get on with it. I hear that’s how they do it Russia — praying to whatever communist gods they have over there — and that it usually works out for them.
NASA should also pay attention here. That’s another agency whose safety culture betrays an innate distrust of heavenly designs.
Pray-Manage Your Finances
I understand that if you’re a real American, you probably prefer to take care of your money in the traditional way — by being plugged into a network of good old boys who offer each other jobs and investment opportunities.
But to me, that just sounds like you don’t trust God.
Prayer Instead Of Fences
I know that Robert Frost said all that stuff about good fences and good neighbors, but on the other hand, why is your faith so weak? You can always just pray that your cattle don’t wander off, if you have them. Or your dogs. If prayer is all-powerful, then this is how it is supposed to work.
Prayer Instead Of… Assault Weapons?
If prayer is really all we need in a crisis, then why the hell would we need an AR to begin with?
Oh, that’s not how any of this works?
Hm.
Interesting.
Image credit: Michael Dorausch